


the mortifying ordeal of being known

by princessoftheworlds



Series: it's (not) all an act [5]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:54:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27355342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessoftheworlds/pseuds/princessoftheworlds
Summary: Ianto, Jack, Gwen, and Yvonne make their next moves after last night's red carpet appearance. Both Ianto and Jack receive odd phone calls.
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones
Series: it's (not) all an act [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1927099
Comments: 20
Kudos: 46





	the mortifying ordeal of being known

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the long wait for this one, but we're returning to our weekly Wednesdays for most of this month! Thanks to Zoe for editing and the title!
> 
> After yesterday and knowing we'll have to wait today, I thought I'd offer something to distract us all. Keep your fingers crossed and hopes high!

Mind awash with thoughts of ocean-colored eyes widened in surprise and soft lips underneath his, Ianto is groggy when he wakes up to the piercing thrill of his smartphone ringing. Lazily, he slithers out a hand from beneath his warm blanket and towards the nightstand where his phone lies, stabbing the accept call and then speakerphone buttons.

“ _ You have a boyfriend? _ ” comes the shrill, incredulous voice, and Ianto stiffens, the haze of sleep being replaced by a cold wave of panic.

He sits up carefully against the headboard. He doesn’t need to check caller id. “Um, yes?”

“You have a boyfriend and didn’t tell me!” the voice continues, sounding stern now that the surprise has faded away. “How long have you had this boyfriend?”

“A few months,” replies Ianto hesitantly. He could fib about the duration of the fake relationship, but it’s probably better to maintain the lie, even with everyone.

“ _ A few months? _ ” Except now the voice has taken on a tone of hurt that Ianto did not expect. “Ianto, I know I didn’t react the best when you came out, but that was over a decade ago. I was a kid. I’ve been nothing but supportive ever since.” There’s a sharp inhale, the voice dropping gentle and quiet. “I love you, Ianto. I’m sorry you didn’t feel like you could tell your family.”

Brow furrowing, Ianto quickly reaches over for his phone. He switches off the speakerphone as he presses it to his ear: “Rhi, you didn’t do anything, I promise! It’s just...Jack and I….” He rubs his forehead in frustration. Usually quite a thorough planner, he must have been narrow-minded this one time if he’d failed to foresee his sister’s reaction. She’s become extraordinarily close to him as an adult, trying to make up for the distance between them as kids. “It happened so fast,” he says lamely in the end. “I didn’t realize how close Jack and I had become until, well…”

Rhiannon sniffles slightly, but Ianto can hear her breathing evening out a bit among the clatter of pots and pans he didn't notice before. She must be in the kitchen. “Do you like him?” she asks. “What’s he like?”

Ianto stifles his responding chuckle. “Very much. I wouldn’t be dating him if I didn’t.” The sheets of his bed rustle as he stretches his legs out, slouching against the headboard. “Very showy and dramatic but also kind and charming.”

“Those stories true?” Rhiannon continues; Ianto rolls her eyes, knowing she’s an avid tabloid reader. She claims to be trying to keep up with his career, but he knows she really loves celebrity drama and gossip.

“Not entirely,” Ianto says. “Some of them are, but with Jack, you can’t ever really tell.” And he supposes Jack’s unpredictability is some of the fun of this fake relationship. “And he is very handsome. Those tabloids don’t do him justice.”

He expects Rhiannon to jump on that and start grilling him about just how attractive Jack is, but she sighs. “You’re happy, right?” She hesitates briefly. “This relationship...he’s not….it’s not like Lisa, is it? How everything ended?”

A faint wave of sorrow washes over Ianto, but he shakes it away. Lisa is behind him now. He shouldn’t have to dwell on thoughts of her anymore. “I’m happy, Rhi,” he confirms. “This is different. Jack would never do that. He would never hurt me.” And the best part is, Ianto doesn’t even have to think about whether that last bit is a lie or not, because he will never find out. Jack won’t hurt him; he can’t, not when they’re not even actually dating.

Finally, after a long moment, he hears Rhiannon sigh again. “That’s good. I only want what’s best for you, Ianto.” Then her tone becomes more uplifting. “Now, when are you bringing Jack over for dinner?”

Groaning, he begins to shake his head, knowing she can’t see him. “Rhi, no. Please, no!” He can’t imagine the ensuing disaster of Jack meeting Johnny.

“Bring him over this weekend,” chirps Rhiannon. He can practically hear her grin. “Non-negotiable.” She cuts over Ianto’s next complaint. “I’ll see you then!”

Ianto drops his phone to his bed and buries his face in his hands. “Well, fuck!”

* * *

“This,” says Yvonne as she slides the tablet across the desk, “is on the front page of every tabloid and trending on every social media site.” Her cool blue gaze trails across the men seated before her, tone pure business. “ _ Congratulations. _ ”

Jack and Ianto exchange a quick, incredulous glance, and Jack winks at him, lips curling into a smile. Ianto ducks his head and suppresses a shiver.

The tablet screen is taken up by a large crisp shot of two dark-haired men, one in a deep blue tux, the other’s tux the dark, regal shade of wine. One man, taller than the other by only an inch or two, is cradling the other’s face gently, kissing him fiercely.

Ianto can feel a ghost of that very kiss across his mouth, and he buries his hands briefly under his thighs, hoping he’s not blushing too brightly. When he glances back up again, he finds that Jack has taken the tablet and is scrolling through. Ianto catches a glimpse of some heavily-capitalized tweets and some colorful emojis. 

He forces his eyes back to Yvonne, who stares back, a perfectly shaped eyebrow cocked. Behind her, Gwen is watching these proceedings with wide eyes.

“This is good, right?” he asks. “This is everything we wanted?”

Gwen nods. “Yeah, Ianto, it is. We-”

“But we’re only getting started,” cuts in Yvonne, and Gwen rolls her eyes. Ianto, who has gotten entirely used to his agent’s blunt, demanding manner by now, stifles a chuckle. “Now, the public knows you’re dating. So what?” It’s a rhetorical question, which she quickly speeds on from. “We need to feed their curiosity, keep the two of you trending as long as possible if you want any studios to take notice. That means publicity appearances, interviews, and the like.”

“How quickly can we get them on a late night show?” Gwen asks Yvonne. “Graham O’Brien? He’s popular and friendly with queer celebrities.”

Yvonne clicks her tongue, shaking her head. “Wrong demographic. We want to aim younger.” She drums her well-manicured nails against her desk, tossing a waterfall of sleek blond hair over her shoulder. 

Jack stops scrolling and slides the tablet back onto the desk, eyes narrowed. “What about Bill Potts?” he says. “She’s young and gay, so you’d be hitting both demographics.” He lounges back in his seat as both women turn to face him.

“It’s a bit risky,” Yvonne acknowledges. “She’s only been on-air a few months, hasn’t really solidified a dedicated viewership yet.”

“But she has a loyal following from her standup days, as well as an impeccable reputation,” counters Gwen, looking considering. “It would be a win-win for both her show and us. She would get a spike in ratings from a high-profile guest like Jack, and Jack and Ianto come off as being more approachable and supportive of their fellow queer celebrities.” 

Jack rolls his eyes, but Ianto hums as he thinks out loud: “I’ve met Graham, and as funny and outstanding as he is, I think Ms. Potts and her late night show would be a better fit for Jack and me.”

“Then it’s settled,” Yvonne says, reaching for her cell phone. “I will give her people a call.” As she rises to her feet, she turns back to glance at them. “We will also need to schedule a public date night for the paparazzi.”

“I’ll take care of that, Yvonne,” Gwen tells her. Yvonne nods, and her heels click across the hardwood floor as she makes her way outside to call. Gwen sighs, running a hand through her dark hair. She says to Ianto, “That woman is a force of nature.”

“She is,” Ianto agrees, “but she gets shit done.”

“Oh, she does.” Gwen nods, toying with her cell phone. “It’s probably better if your date is at a restaurant. Less chance of the paparazzi catching a shot of anything odder than the two of you eating. I already know your food preferences and schedules, so I’ll book you a table for later in the weekend.”

“Gwen, any news from the studio?” Jack asks quietly.

“Actually, yes,” she says. “I got a call this morning. They want to speak with you next week; they’d scheduled a meeting.”

Jack’s eyes widen, and when he smiles, his entire face glows. Ianto ignores the slight flutter of his heart. “Really?” Jack says. “That’s wonderful!”

Knowing how much this news means to Jack, Ianto decides to let him talk to his agent in private. He hides his smile as he rises from the chair, telling Jack, “I’m going to go see if Yvonne’s done with her call.”

They nod at him as he walks away, and Ianto’s smile only grows as he hears them resume their conversation, Jack’s voice booming faintly behind Ianto as he shuts the door to Yvonne’s office.

* * *

“Don’t get too cocky,” Gwen warns.

“Cocky? Me?  _ Never! _ ” replies Jack, grinning. She rolls her eyes in response. 

“I’m serious, Jack,” continues Gwen, “don’t get your hopes up too high yet. This is just a preliminary meeting. Don’t forget; the studio’s still searching for a director. Things might change in the future.”

Jack still can’t stop his grin. “Oh, Gwen Cooper! I adore you!” He leans in and presses a messy kiss to her cheek, and wincing, she reaches up to wipe her cheek dry. “I’m going to go find Ianto now.” 

And he leaves the office before Gwen can reply.

He wanders down the hallways of Yvonne’s company, passing by the woman herself, who is still rapt with her phone call and doesn’t notice Jack. Ianto is nowhere to be seen, until he finally bumps into the man near the elevator.

“Hey,” Jack says, bouncing slightly on his heels, fists burrowed into his flight jacket. He’s vibrating with an infectious energy that brings a smile to Ianto’s face. “Where’d you go?”

“Yvonne was busy,” explains Ianto, “so I was just wandering around.” He glances up towards Jack. “You?”

“Looking for you,” replies Jack and watches as Ianto’s smile widens. His fingers itch to reach for Ianto’s face, but he stifles the impulse. “We didn’t get a chance to talk previously. How are you? How’s everyone in your life taking the news about your secret boyfriend?”

Ianto’s eyes widen, and Jack realizes he’s struck a gold mine. “I woke up to a very urgent phone call from my sister; she was not pleased to find out from social media rather than from me in person. She’s very fascinated with you.” Blushing, he glances down towards the tile, voice dropping. “She invited us to dinner.”

“Ah,” Jack says, taking an unexpected step back. His smile dies a bit. Ianto’s expression is horror-struck. “I didn’t realize we were at the meet-the-friends-and-family stage already.”

“I can cancel if you’d prefer,” Ianto says hurriedly. “My sister won’t mind.”

Jack lifts his hands up. “No, no. It’s okay! I just didn’t expect it.” He grins again. “I’d love to meet your sister and her family!” He shrugs. “You’ve already met half my family.” 

He has missed calls from Tosh and Owen on his phone that he’s been ignoring. They are probably displeased to know Jack's been lying about a "boyfriend" and won't be any happier when they find out that Gwen and Rhys already knew.

“Great,” Ianto says, but he doesn’t sound overly enthusiastic about these dinner plans. “I’ll let her know that we’ll be coming.”

Before Jack can ask Ianto how he’s doing, he feels his phone vibrating in his pocket and fumbles for it. “Sorry, sorry,” he says to Ianto, who has lifted an eyebrow. “I gotta take this.”

Jack moves down to the corridor before he successfully flips his phone over, accepting the call without glancing at the contact name. Which is why he nearly jumps out of the skin when he hears the voice of his caller after Jack says, “Hello?”

“Saw your face plastered over Twitter," says John Hart, his on-again, off-again ex. They're firmly exes now. "Congratulations on the new boy toy." 

Stifling a swear, Jack leans his head against the wall and squeezes his eyes shut. Finally, he says tiredly, "What do you want, John?"

"Nothing," John replies nonchalantly. "Is it so hard to believe I'm just talking to my boyfriend?"

" _ Ex-boyfriend, _ " Jack corrects.

John hums in reply. "This Ianto is real eye candy, isn't he?"

Jack's hand curls into a fist. "Stay away from him, John," he warns. "Ianto has nothing to do with you or me."

"He came between us, Jack. He's everything to do with you and me." John's tone becomes blithe. "How long have you two been dating anyways?  _ Hm?  _ A few weeks? A few months? Does he know he's a rebound for me?"

“The only way Ianto could be a rebound for you,” Jack says, gritting his teeth, “is if we had anything real to begin with.”

“ _ Ouch,  _ sweetheart,” John bites back. “You’ve wounded me. Does he know you had your tongue halfway down my throat in Italy?”

“Yes, he does!” explodes Jack. He glances up and down the hallway, thankful that no one else is around. Ianto himself has since disappeared. “The whole fucking world knows, John.” He inhales sharply, rubbing his forehead. “You’ve always represented my lack of impulse control, John. I’m sorry, but you’re not good for me. And I’m not good for you.”

“Yes, we’re toxic,” continues John. Jack imagines he’s rolling his eyes. “I know. You said as much in your breakup speech.” A beat. “All five times you tried.”

“Oh, so you were listening,” Jack says sarcastically. “Listen, John. The two of us? Done. We’re over. And I will keep telling you that, so do yourself a favor and stop calling.” He pauses. “And John? Stay away from Ianto.”

“Tough luck,” John sings before there’s a beep indicating he’s cut the call himself.

Jack pulls his phone down from his ear, glancing between it and the empty hallway. His breathing is staggered, his entire body tensed up with rage. He wants to punch a wall, throw his phone,  _ do something. _ John’s always been good at riling him up.

Instead, he regulates his breathing until he calms down, shakes out his aching fists, and goes to find Ianto.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr [here](http://princess-of-the-worlds.tumblr.com/) or on Twitter [here](https://twitter.com/rajkumarinik). I tweet and reblog mostly Torchwood with occasionally amusing commentary on nonsense. Please come talk to me and tell me if/how much you like my fic or like ask me about it on tumblr; all my schoolwork has become remote now, and I have limited social interaction. And if you have any future ideas for this potential verse or something you'd like to see, drop it in the comments!


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